“Safety
and security don’t just happen; they are the result of collective consensus and
public investment. We owe our children, the most vulnerable citizens of our
society, a life free of violence and fear”
– Nelson Mandela
Many times, the first thought we have at the mention
of the term ‘child abuse’ is physical maltreatment and violence against
children; and with good reason too. A 10-year-old girl, (name withheld) was
found chained to a window’s burglary proof in an uncompleted building by her
aunt, for allegedly stealing four thousand naira. The little girl was said to
have been rescued by policemen in Ogun State after two days of starvation!
Another 9-year-old boy, also in Ogun state, was also chained and starved for a
couple of days, by his father, a pastor, who claimed the boy was possessed by
demons. There is hardly an adult in Nigeria today, who doesn’t have a story to
tell about how he or she was severely “disciplined” by the parents as a child,
and there is always a new story in the newspapers about a child who was either
beaten to an inch of his/her life, molested, burnt with a pressing iron, or
some other form of savagery. But the abuse of children goes beyond just
physical violence. There are other forms of child abuse that are just as
heinous but we never see them in the news, which makes them even more
dangerous. Emotional abuse and child neglect: despite seeming insignificant in
comparison with physical or sexual abuse, are just as serious and are even more
common. These forms of abuse may not leave scars we can see, but the damage to
the child is just as real. Emotional abuse includes any acts of verbal assault,
constant criticism, intimidation, constant shaming and humiliation, confinement,
isolation, and any other maltreatment which may diminish the sense of dignity
and self-worth of the child. And child neglect happens when a child does not
get the shelter, schooling, clothing, medical care, or protection he or she
needs.
Some people believe that emotional abuse and child
neglect are not abuses at all because there is no physical harm done. But this
is not true. Emotional abuse and neglect hurt children in many ways. The effects
are internal and long-term, leading to life-long mental health problems. Emotional
abuse could result in depression, difficulties in socialisation, learning
problems, perpetual fear or anger, and sometimes death.
Sadly, the majority of children who suffer abuse of
any form do not tell anyone what has happened to them and the perpetrators go
scot-free. According to the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF), fewer than
5% of abused children receive the help they need to recover. In fact, the
UNICEF’s state of the world’s child report indicates that Nigeria is one of the
worst places for a child to grow up. According to the report, six out of 10
children in Nigeria experience emotional, physical, or sexual abuse before the
age of 18! This statistics is very heart-breaking and it is time for every
Nigerian to work towards ensuring that our children are safe from, not only
violence and molestation, but also harassment, neglect and emotional harm. Every
child is important. He or she doesn’t have to be yours to be loved. Remember
that it takes a village to raise a child; sharing responsibility for the care
and protection of children helps to ensure that all children are allowed to
reach their full potential as human beings.
Also
keep in mind that child abuse does not occur only within the family or at home,
but also in schools, religious settings, and other social environments and
communities the child interacts with. To protect your child/ward from child
abuse, Healthwise Staff from WebMD.com advice that you take the following
precautions:
Listen to your child. Let him or her know it is safe
to talk about anything with you
Get to know your child’s friends and their families
Screen all caregivers such as your housekeepers and
day-care centres. Find out what they know about child health, child
development, and child care.
Teach your child the difference between “good touches”
and “bad touches”
Take a break when you feel overwhelmed and
stressed-out. Ask a family member or very trusted friend to help out when you
feel the work has become too much for you to handle alone.
Get
help if you have ever been a victim of abuse because having a history of abuse
increases your chances of becoming an abuser.
To
help and protect other children from child abuse and neglect:
Learn
to recognise the signs of abuse and neglect. For example, a child may not grow
as expected, may be dirty or unhealthy, or may seem fearful, anxious or
depressed
Know
the names of your neighbours and their children. Offer to help a new parent.
Child abuse becomes less likely if parents and caregivers feel supported.
If
you see abuse or neglect happening, speak up. A child’s life may depend on it.
Most abused children are not able to help themselves.
Children deserve nothing less than our constant focus on their safety, and it
is our duty to protect them from mental, physical, sexual and emotional abuse
and neglect, even if their parents or guardians are unwilling to do so. If you
see, or have any reason to suspect a child is experiencing harm, or is in
danger of any form of child abuse, including neglect, sexual abuse, child
battering, child trafficking, etc. it is important to take action; report to
the police, government organisations and Non-government organisations that work
to eliminate cruelty children. If you see an act of abuse and ignore it, then
you are no better than the abuser, and are just as guilty. Reporting child
abuse is the responsibility of everyone. Remember that by reporting your
suspicions, you may prevent a child from being seriously hurt or even killed,
and from having lifelong emotional problems.
By Akaomachi B
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